Friday, August 04, 2006

Lighten Your Wife's Load

Actually you will find that babies are made of a tough, cartilaginous material and are far sturdier than they look. Babies will bend, but seldom break. It is not good to drop babies purposely, but falls from moderate heights seem to do them small harm. These facts, however, are best to hide from your wife. Keep alive the fiction that a small child is as fragile as Dresden china.

Try as you will, though, it is difficult to continue this tactic to the second and third child. You may run into this reaction:

"Gosh, pet, I just dropped the baby!"

"Oh? - Didn't break the bottle, did you?"

At this stage it is best to use a different approach:

"David, what are you doing in there?"

"Just putting diapers on the baby. Did have to rummage through the closet a bit."

(The entire contents of the closet will be on the floor.)

"Oh, my!"

"Couldn't find the talcum."

"It was right there!"

"Oh, stupid of me. Was messy, wasn't I?"

(Give her a lovable lopsided smile.)

"Really, David, it's easier for me to do it myself!"

Soon she will see the wisdom of this last remark. But your attitude must still be one of cheerful cooperation.

DON'T PUSH YOUR CHILD

Time and again we find parents who attempt to push their children ahead, to make them walk, talk, or perform other feats beyond their years. This is a serious mistake. It can cause physical and psychological damage not only to the child, but to the father as well. No sooner has your child begun to walk than you will look back to the quiet peaceful days when he sat in a happy little lump, cooing and gurgling.

The child who learns to walk before reaching the age of reason is like an avenging army, bringing chaos and de­struction wherever it moves. Everything that can be torn, broken, or chewed must be moved to a high level. Soon the child will learn to climb and all will be lost.

The Case for the Backward Child

If your baby shows any sign of being backward, en­courage him. The backward child is quiet, easily man­aged, and far less destructive. He will be a real joy to you, and there is no reason to worry that this will harm him in later life. Thousands of our nation's leaders in business and government were backward children, many of them a source of needless worry to their parents.

FEEDING THE BABY

Try to lighten your wife's load whenever possible. One fine way is to help her feed the baby, as long as he is in the bottle stage. Bottle-feeding can be performed by the father without any risk of physical strain, can usually be done in a feet-up position, say in front of the television set. The baby should be burped about once every commercial.

Other feeding, such as giving Pabulum, had best be done by more skillful hands. Your first attempt at this will be enough to convince your wife.

"Isn't it cute, dear, how he goes for it!"

"What did you do, pour it into the electric fan?"

(This can be done, of course, but is seldom neces­sary if you have a, healthy, vigorous child.)

"No, he did it all by himself! Show mommy how we eat it all by ourselves!"

It is best to wear a plastic raincoat or other impervious garment for this demonstration.

ENJOY YOUR BABY

Once the dreary, time-consuming and unsanitary duties are handled, babies can be a real pleasure. To see their merry little smiles, to hear their bubbling baby laughter, and to feel them put their little arms around daddy's neck —these alone will make all your sacrifices seem worthwhile. Let the children think of you as the gay, fun-loving member of the family, always ready for a laugh, a romp, or a game. You will have many happy hours together.

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