7 Incredible Ways To Stop Excessive Fighting And Arguments With Your Girl

Sometimes the most passionate relationships can yield the most intense arguments. A couple that looks happy in public may bicker incessantly behind closed doors. The fact that you fight a lot isn’t a reason to discard a relationship – in fact, arguments can be turned into useful conversations that can actually help you improve your relationship. Before you make an appointment with a counselor or break up entirely, there are a few things you can do to transform your troubled relationship into a loving, successful one.

1. Get to the bottom of things.
Often, fighting over the small stuff is really just a symptom of a bigger problem. Getting to the heart of your real frustrations is the key to restoring peace to your relationship. If you want to stop fighting over the remote control, laundry and other trivial things, you need to have a serious talk about the state of your relationship.

Maybe one of you is conflicted about starting a family, or stressed about finances. Perhaps you're holding a grudge and don’t even know it. If your wife is nagging you about cleaning the house, is there something else on her mind beyond you not doing your chores? You need take a good, long look at the forest if you want to save your relationship from all those pesky trees! Until you identify the real problems, those tiny, insignificant ones will continue to threaten your relationship.

2. Solve the big problems.
It's intimidating, but if you talk out your problems and discover your wife is actually jealous of your career and bored stiff staying home with the kids and this is what’s fueling all the other, seemingly irrelevant arguments, you must address the problem. Reevaluate your income, find ways you can both coexist happily. If you neglect these huge issues, they’ll fester and become major conflicts later.

3. When you feel angry, do something nice for her.
When you get mad at your partner, instead of lashing out at her verbally or tuning her out, why not make her a cup of coffee, give her a back massage, or buy her some flowers? You'll find that the anger you once felt has turned into and you’re no longer upset. Yes, this seems counter-intuitive, and your pride may prevent you from letting go of your resentments. But if you’re the first one to show kindness after a fight, she might actually end up taking responsibility for her actions and return the sentiment.

4. Count to ten.
The famous Disney rabbit, Thumper, once said, “If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.” This isn’t a hard and fast rule, of course, but before you fly off the handle and start a shouting match, ask yourself, “Is what I'm about to say constructive?” Think before you speak and you may discover that, as a result, the fighting will decrease. When you find yourself enraged, go for a walk or take a shower. Don't be so eager to go to battle, even if you're sure you can win. Is your pride really worth ruining what the two of you have together?

5. Take turns.
It's natural to argue, but a helpful conversation – rather than an intense fight – is preferable. Sit down with her and take turns talking. Don't interrupt or talk over each other, and try not to raise your voice. Listen when it's your turn to listen, and talk when it's your turn to talk. A simple method like this can make a big difference in solving problems.

6. Rules of war.
When the two of you are on good terms, make a list of the words and tactics that will be “off-limits” in an argument. Agree to focus on the issues without name-calling, for example. If you can establish some rules for debate – promising that certain hot-button issues and phrases are out of bounds – you can prevent a lot of heartache and encourage more proactive discussions.

7. Enjoy yourselves.
If you feel overwhelmed by day-to-day squabbles with your wife or girlfriend, make it a point to spend a night on the town or watch a movie at home with just her. Have fun! It can be easy to get consumed by the little things and, as a result, you might forget what brought you together in the first place. Take a vacation, go to the bowling alley, cook her dinner. Rekindle that old flame.

Don't let wars over who should do the dishes plague your love life. Survive the bickering and get yourself on the road to a rewarding, long-lasting relationship with these simple steps!

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