What Women Really Want In Sex

One of the biggest breakthroughs in the study of human sexuality in the 1960s was the acknowledgment of what are called erogenous zones – areas on the body that have heightened sensitivity, and which are connected directly to sexual response. By knowing what they are, where they are, and how to touch a woman there in just the right way, you’ll increase both her pleasure and your own. The five major erogenous zones are:

1. Her lips. Take the tip of your finger and softly stroke your own lip. Feels nice, doesn’t it? There are a lot of nerve endings in our lips, and the best way to bring pleasure to a woman’s mouth is by kissing her. Be sexy and playful, alternate between kissing her upper lip and lower lip, and gently caressing her tongue with yours.

A nice long bout of kissing will get both of you warmed up and in the mood – if you’ve been with your partner for some time, rediscover the pleasure of simply kissing each other, long and slow – many couples stop “making out” after they’ve been together for awhile, and sex becomes perfunctory and predictable. So why not get back to basics and spend some time just kissing each other the way you used to?

2. Her neck. This is the secret hotspot of female desire that’s been known by successful Lotharios since time began. Just keep your desire to bite in check – neck kisses should be light and sensuous. Make sure your lips aren’t dry, but they shouldn’t be sloppy wet, either. Kiss different areas of her neck softly, paying attention to what part of the neck makes her toes curl.

The area just below the ear is usually highly sensitized – brush your lips lightly there while breathing out through your nose, and the combined sensation will give her goosebumps. Many second dates have been guaranteed by a sexy neck kiss at the end of an evening! When making love, start with light kisses and then graduate to gentle nibbles as you progress, saving the more fervent biting for when her passion is reaching its peak.

3. Her breasts. If you’re like most men, getting your hands on her breasts is so thrilling you may be inclined to hold back on the attention you give them because you don’t want her to think you’re an animal. But what most women won’t tell you (at least not at the very beginning of a relationship) is that they love it when a man spends plenty of time on their breasts. The entire breast is a network of nerve endings, and here’s something you may not know – they have the same number of nerve endings no matter how big they are.

So smaller breasts are more sensitive, and require a lighter touch, while large breasts can be fondled more forcefully (in fact, many women with large breasts actually prefer more rigorous handling, biting and sucking for maximum pleasure). The best way to drive a woman mad with pleasure is to start by kissing and caressing the sides and undersides of her breast, slowly moving inward. Ignore her hints that you go straight for the nipple and continue to tease her, taking several minutes to get to your goal.

With either the tip of your tongue or a dampened finger, gently touch her nipple, finally taking it in your mouth and sucking on it when she’s starting to twitch with impatience. Discover her preference for light or gentle touch in the area by watching her reactions, and by asking her what she prefers,

4. The inside of her thighs. This is an extremely sensitive area, and some women are ticklish here, so if she doesn’t like it, back off. But most women, especially if they’re already aroused, love the feeling of a warn hand stroking its way up their inner thigh. It’s also a great way to build anticipation – keeping caressing her thigh, slowly moving higher and higher, but take your time. You both know where your hand is headed, but the suspense in a big part of the fun.

5. The clitoris. The most obvious erogenous zone is also one of the most seriously misunderstood, particularly if a man has received most of his sexual “how-to” tips from watching pornographic videos. For starters, women vary wildly in what sort of clitoral stimulation they enjoy.

Some women want a lot of direct stimulation, rubbing it vigorously like it’ a tiny penis, while other women are so sensitive that it can barely be touched at all. If you’ve been successful with one woman and think you know all about how to pleasure a woman in this area, think again – your next lover may be completely different.

The best way to find out what she likes?

Ask her.

The best time to ask is when you’re in bed together and she’s becoming very aroused. Her defenses will be down and she’ll be more likely to discuss her preferences without embarrassment. You can also ask her to take your hand and show you how you should proceed – it’s educational, and it’s fun for you, too!

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Tags: Women, Relationship Tips, Relationship, Love, Dating, Dating Women, Love Tips, What Women Want
What Women Want
Love Tips

How to Turn Her Wild In Bed

Meeting a wonderful woman and taking her to bed is an exciting, intimidating event. It’s not enough to just show up and go through the motions – you want to rock her world, so that she’ll keep coming back for more. So how do you become the considerate, assured lover that will drive her wild? It’s not as difficult as you might think, if you know a few basic lovemaking secrets.

1. Slow down. To make a woman crazy in bed, you need to slow it way, way down. And not just between the sheets, either – slow it down before you ever get there. There’s a much-quoted speech in the film “Bull Durham” in which Kevin Costner’s character, Crash Davis says, “I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for three days.”

Take your time getting your lady into bed, allowing the anticipation to build. Remember, good sex starts in the mind, and the longer she’s imagining what it will be like to make love to you, the better it will be when you get there. Then, once the two of you are horizontal, check your more animalistic impulses and slow down the action – most women need some time to fully build to full arousal, so settle in for some serious foreplay.

2. Rediscover the joys of making out. That would be the serious foreplay just mentioned – the time spent with your clothes still on, kissing and touching each other and slowly making each other crazy with passion. Continue the making out once you’re in bed and the clothes come off, kissing her neck, slowly running your hands over her thighs, fondling her breasts. If you fully enjoy every touch, ever caress, every moment that you share with her, she’ll feel relaxed and appreciative, and she’ll start to want more.

3. Talk to her. That doesn’t mean muttering dirty things in her ear (although some women do like that). It means stay connected with her as you make love by asking her what she likes, how she likes it, and if you’re touching her in ways she enjoys. One of the biggest mistakes men make in bed is thinking that they’re required to be excellent lovers without asking for any pointers from their partner – and nothing could be further from the truth. All women respond differently to sexual touching.

Some women have very sensitive breasts and only like very gentle caresses, while others enjoy more vigorous handling. The same is true for a woman’s clitoris, as some are very sensitive, others require more direct stimulation. There are only two ways to know what a woman enjoys in bed – observe her reactions, and ask her what she likes. She may be a little shy about telling you at first, but keep checking in with her as you touch her and she’ll not only appreciate your sensitivity, she’ll be more likely to get what she needs from you in bed.

4. Encourage her fantasies. If you’ve been with a woman for awhile and she consistently has trouble relaxing and letting go, try a little roleplaying. Talk to her about what she finds sexy, what sorts of fantasies she has, and then try a little make-believe. You don’t have to go so far as to dress up in costumes and use props – unless you both want to, of course. For starters, you can just treat it like a grown-up bedtime story, talking to each other about what your alter-ego is doing, or what they want you to do. This exercise is surprisingly effective. A woman who would never in a million years do anything of a morally questionable nature may find that pretending to be a prostitute frees her to be a wild woman in bed. Anything that the two of you do together is okay, so long as it’s consensual – so let your imaginations roam where they may.

5. Remember that wetter is better. As a woman’s arousal builds, her vagina will become lubricated – and that’s not just a sign that she’s enjoying herself, it’s a vitally necessary part of the lovemaking process. This is another reason for long, slow, passionate foreplay, as the more aroused she is, the more natural lubrication there’ll be to facilitate intercourse. But just like with a man, sometimes a woman’s body doesn’t cooperate no matter how much she’d like it to. She may be on a medication that affects her hormones, or perhaps she’s just dehydrated because she hasn’t been drinking enough water – there are a number of reasons it can happen. So be prepared with a good lubricant just in case.

There are products designed to mimic a woman’s natural lubrication, and there are far preferable to using hand lotions or baby oil, which have perfumes and other additives that can be irritating. Among the more popular lubricants are Astroglide, WET and K-Y, and they come in a variety of formulations, including gels that warm when you use them or flavored liquids. Just make sure that you use a water-based lubricant if you’re using condoms, as oil-based lubes will weaken latex, increasing the risk of condom breakage.

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How To Tell If She Is Really Committed To The Relationship

So you’ve found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. The problem is, how do you know if she feels the same way about you? You may also be wondering if she’s really the one for you. There are a few question you can ask to determine if the time is right to take the plunge:

1. How long have you been together? Every relationship has its own unique ebb and flow, but relationship experts have found that it usually takes about two years for a couple to fully commit to each other and begin what’s called the “negotiation phase” of the relationship – the period in which you’ve both gotten to know each other so well that you’re battling out what you will and won’t live with while trying to hang onto your individual identities. Interestingly, statistics show that most couples get married after knowing each other for only 18 months, so it’s no wonder so many newlyweds fight like cats and dogs! If you’ve only been together a few months, it’s too soon to decide for sure that this is a lifetime relationship – it’s certainly worth thinking about, but don’t jump the gun.

2, Are you ready to commit? Make sure you’re absolutely certain that you’re ready to settle down before you worry about what she’s feeling. Think about what you’re giving up – sleeping in on weekends, all night video game sessions, beer with the guys, dating other women, drinking milk straight out of the carton – and weight it against everything that you’ll get from a long term relationship with her. If you have any regrets about giving up your single lifestyle, then you’re not ready.

3. Is she ready to commit? This shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. Does she leave a toothbrush at our apartment and feels comfortable cooking in your kitchen? Has she introduced her to her family and friends? Does she gaze longingly at babies in strollers when the two of you go out for lunch? Then she’s ready to commit. On the other hand, if she hasn’t given up going out with other men, has never brought you ‘round to meet her parents and insists that you don’t leave any of your stuff at her place, she’s probably not ready.

4. Is she commitment-phobic? A obsessive aversion to commitment is usually thought to be an entirely male problem, but women suffer from it, too. Experts point out that women exhibit it in different ways from men – mainly by repeatedly getting involved with men who are unavailable to them. If the woman you love has a history of dating men who are married, or gay, or who treat her badly and break her heart, you may be involved with a commitment-phobe. If she picks fights with you whenever your relationship starts to settle down and become comfortable, that could be another sign. She could have come from a home with parents who made marriage seem unappealing, or she may just be attracted to the drama of new romance followed by the inevitable break-up. But if she’s not ready, that can be a problem if you’re sure that she’s the one for you.

5. Are you willing to be patient? If the lady you love really is a commitment-phobe, you have two choices – you can stick around and hope that she’ll change her mind, or you can find someone else. You have to ask yourself what’s more important to you, to be in a committed relationship, or to be in a relationship with her no matter what form it takes. If your heart belongs to her and you want to stick it out, then be realistic about what that means. It may take months or years for her to come around to where she’s ready to fully commit to a relationship – during which time, you’ll have a number of fights as you adapt to your situation, and she may go out with other men. And ultimately you may not be the man she chooses – it’s not unusual for a man to stand by patiently waiting for a commitment-phobic woman to come around, only to have her fall in love and marry someone else.

If you truly love someone, you should try to negotiate a relationship that’s satisfying for both of you. But if one of you wants to get married, settle down and raise a family and the other person isn’t ready to do that, there’s not much you can do besides be patient and hope for the best. You may find that the best solution is to put your own expectations on hold, and accept that not every great love affair ends in long-term commitment. Enjoy your time together, love her for who she is, and perhaps you’ll get your wish and she’ll commit to a lifetime of happiness.

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Love Tips